A Rough One...

Today has not been the greatest of days, in fact it's been pretty horrible... Unfortunately it didn't start with this morning, but last night.
Last night I was feeling really guilty about being lazy and beating myself up about a bunch of crap that didn't matter. My hormones kicked in and I was just crying and crying. I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband who just held me and wiped away my tears until I fell asleep.
I woke up this morning around 4:30 having to pee, like normal pregnant women. My head started hurting so bad, I assume from all the crying last night... I couldn't go back to sleep... Finally around 6:00 I start to dose off, but then Jon's alarm goes off for us to take him to school, Tim wakes up screaming from coughing, and I start crying...again...
I finally have the chance to go to sleep a little after 7, but I couldn't get my brain to shut up for a long time! Finally fall asleep, Tim wakes up at 9, we eat breakfast, and go to pick up Jon from school to take him to work. I hadn't left the parking lot at Jon's work yet, luckily, and I get a phone call from my dad.
"Kristen I need you to be strong, but..."
The worst I could think of is Target finally had to be put down, because he is so old. I was wrong. Horribly wrong.
One of my friends, a student at Mountain View, had just ended his life.  Needless to say I was devastated, crying for a good reason this time. I am so grateful that Jon felt the need to look out the door to see if I was okay, because there was no way I could have driven home. Jon's wonderful boss let him be with me, to be my strength. I needed him, I needed to feel his love, his arms wrapped around me, once again I needed him to wipe away my tears.
I couldn't be stuck in the gloom, so we took Tim to the park, mostly I didn't want him to worry about why mommy was so sad. Tim ran around the playground, another blessing, it was empty. Tim at the playground will make anyone smile.
We then took lunch to Dad and Kevin, Kev was really close friends with this kid. I am so proud of how strong Kevin was for his friends. I was amazed at how well the kids at the high school were actually doing, there were tears, puffy faces, lots of hugs, but they were strong. You could really tell that he was loved.
I won't say his name, for the sake of those who don't know yet, and deserve to find out in person, not via blog, but You really are loved, and we will miss you. May you find the peace and happiness you need.